Saturday, April 24, 2010

"They was crimes of op'purtunity, I tells ya!" -- Addie-Lou Roo blogs!

This be Addie....Addie-Lou Roo, the Baby Kangaroo Basset, as I am sometimes known.  My Mama posted a blogg about me for my birfday da odder week...  I be twoo now, but not gots my Big Girl Brainz yet.   I tole dat ol' Brown Truk Driver to stay away frum me, 'cause I don' want dose brainz yet.  I woofeded at him a bunch an' he wented away.  I don' wanna be a Big Gurl.  I likes beein' a puppy gurl.  Mama says I'm a BIG puppy gurl an' I gotz big feetz.

Anywayz...  My Grandma is sorta mad at me rite now 'cause I been swipin' stuff from hers.  I jus can't help it, tho...  She leebs stuffs all ober da place where my nose can find 'em, an', well, I jus' climb up der and takes 'em.   I figger if theys there, theys fer me to take.  Sos I do.  I reelly like hers penz and skissors an' even her nappykins, but I getz odder stuffs, too, like dishytowls an' placematz an' spoonz frum da dishywassher.  Grandma's desk is my favorite place to find stuff to steal.  I tried her purse once, but since I don' gotz da tumbs, it was hard to do da zippeys an' I gave up.  It's hard when ya don' gotz da tumbs, ya know?

Grandma beein mad at me all started th' odder day when Grandma was doin's sumptin with da magamazines.  She had a big ol' pile of 'em sittin' on her counter along with a page of some kind of sticky tings called "labbels".  She was stickin' da labbels on da magamazines an' den stickin' da magamazines inna da plastic bags.  I love plastic bags!!  When Grandma wasn' lookin', I stole a couple of da plastic bags an' took 'm to my hidey place behind Grandma's big rumbly chair  [Mama's note:  Grandma's massage/lounge chair].  I hadded 'em all nice and uncurleded an' drooleded on an' ready to chew, an' she got me!  She stole my bags back and yelled at me, "NO, ADDIE!!  NOT YOURS!!"   Humph.   They was too mine, I tooked 'em and had 'em on my spot.  She wasn't lookin' when I tooked 'em, so deys mine.   Boy!  Da op'purtunity a-roseded an' I took dem bagz.  Dey was MINE.

Ladder on,  Grandma had lunch wit da Mama-Lisa.  Dey had soup an' crackers.  We all likes crackers, and Grandma always shares some peenut-budder crackers an' some cheeze crackers wit' us, so we were all sitting an' waiting for hers to do dat.   She always gibs da crackers to Miss Penny-lope first, den Mr. Pelly-Belly, den Miz Jazzy, den me 'cause I'm da baby houndie.  Weeel,  Miz Jazzy didn't eats her cracker rite aways, so I snatched it.  Miz Jazzy grrrrrd at me an' flappeded her ear-flapz, but she let me habe da cracker cuz she reelly only likes da cheezee ones anywayz.  Dis one was da peenut budder kind, an' she don't like those as much.  Grandma said I was theef!!!  But Jazzy lefted da cracker der on da woulda gotten rottening iffin I hadn't eeten it!  Humph.  I am not a theef.  It was an op'purtunity!

On Wenzday, Gramma cut some pretty cake for dessert for her and Mama.  Mama ate hers at the table, then went to da kitchen to wash da dinner dishes.  Grandma put hers cake on da table, an' den skooted her chair over and did sumthing on her 'puter moochine an' talkeded on da tellyphone.  Her back was to da table da whoole time an' she wasn' payin' 'tention at all.  Dat cake sat dere defenseless an' lonely for a looong time.  I looked an' I sniffed an' I waited an' I waited, an' finally I could not help myself.  I climbed on da edge of da table an' et dat cake.  It wuz good, too.  I was reel careful an' didn' even skooch da placemat or leeve enny crumz.  But, Grandma got mad at me again.  She said I was a sneeky theef!  I wuz NOT sneeky!  I wus polite.  I waited an' waited an' waited until I couldn't wait enny more, den I et da cake.  Grandma wasn't goin' ta eet it, so I did.  Da op'purtunity was dere, an' I tooked it!  I tooked da cake, too!

Mama made toast for breakfast yesterday mornin'....well, toast for her an' Grandma's breakfast.  I had ol' kibbles an' some skrambled eggz  an' cheeze on top for my breakfast.  I didn't get any toast with my breakfast.   Grandma didn't eat both of her toasts, so she lefted one on top of a cup under a nappykin on da table.  I think she thot she was a-hidin' that toast frum me sos I wouldn't get it.  Ha, Grandma!!  I found it an' I gotted it before you could turn around!  I'm reelly good at gettin' stuff when I want it an' I wanted that toast.  Grandma thought she could get it back from me so she followed me to my hidey-spot.  "Crunch, crunch, crunch!  No more toast, Grandma!"  Ha!  Later on, I stole a yellow marker and chewed up the cap just because I could.  Sometimes I jus' wanna be Bad.  Da problem is, I look too innocent an' nobodee believez I'm reelly bad.  Mama says I'm not bad, I have a sense of hummor.  Whateber dat is.

I was a good girl dis mornin', though.  Grandma was feedin' dose noisy bird-critters dere breakfast an' she left a piece of pizza on da table...rite dere where my noze could smell it.  But I was good. I didn't even look at it.  She had some skrambled eggz she waz feedin' dat noisy JoJo bird , an' I wanted those instead.  (I wanna figure out how to get his skweeker outta him 'cause he mekes my earz hurt with his all da time skreechin'!)  I do like skrambled eggz.  But I lefted da pizza on da table.  I lookeded at it, though.  Put my big paws rite onna da edge of da tabble an' lookeded at dat pizza.  Den I gotz down an' went away.  Later on, when she wasn't lookin, I drank Grandma's milk outta her glass.  She went, "EEEEWWW!" an' den she gave me da rest of da milk in my bowl.  Ha, Ha, Grandma!  Den I stole her big pen an' chewed da little button offen da end. 

All of dese was crimes of da op'purtunity, I tell ya.  Every single one of 'em was 'cause Grandma left stuff where I could get it.  Mama tells her and tells her to put stuff up where I can't get it, but she doesn't.  One of dese days I'm gonna get dose teef she keeps taken outta her mouf.  I think I need some extra teef to chew on stuff.

Itz me, Addie-Lou Roo!

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